Re-Set

I need to take stock of where I am with regards to my blog and press a metaphorical re-set button; thinking back over the last year, I didn't really feel like my heart was in it, and I realise that if I'm going to get any benefit from it then I need to be committed - or just not bother. The 'Home' boxes work that I did last year was something I enjoyed immensely, and I was pleased with the end result, but I don't think I recorded the progress enough on my blog. This was partly due to the idea behind it, the with-holding of seeing everything, but I still think I could have shown more.

So, where am I now?

January, the darkest month, has included introspection, contemplation and lots of cosying up with books. A chance to unwind and recharge after the Christmas madness; but I now find myself up against the wall of self-doubt, procrastination and full-on deer-in-the-headlights fear - I have a project to do!

I made a start on it just before Christmas, but because it's had a significant resting period I've lost the momentum, and the idea of re-engaging with the work and moving it on has grown in my head to something almost insurmountable.

This is the kind of problem I need to tackle this year. My fear of things going wrong threatens to stop me doing anything at all.

This is the start of my first image that I sketched out at the end of last year:-

And I have now inked in the outline...it took me weeks longer than it should but it's a start:-

I have a friend who always seems super motivated. She decides to do something and just gets on doing it without any kind of agonising as far as I can tell. I really need to apply a bit of this attitude to myself and stop over-thinking things, just get on with doing my creating, and enjoying doing it.

I'm going to try different approaches to the blog (not sure what yet) to see if I can free myself up a bit. Get more words and thoughts out there. I think I'd started to feel a bit self-conscious, but the original motivation for starting it in the first place was to record my thoughts and my progress for myself. I am hoping to get back to this original plan.

So it's a new year, new green shoots are showing in my garden, and ideas are growing in my head. The page has turned and a new chapter begins.

Amanda xxx

Not Being Selected

At the end of December I learnt that my entry in the Aesthetica Art Prize had not been selected. I was incredibly busy at the time and so didn't really have time to dwell on the news, but was just grateful that they had taken the time to let me know. And now we are in the new year I feel incredibly pleased that I entered; I did have a glimmering hope inside me that my work would be chosen, and I imagined receiving the good news, but I don't feel too disappointed. Entering the prize came me the impetus I needed to bring to life a project that at times I struggled with; because I had a deadline, I had to learn how to work through the problems and obstacles. So even though my work wasn't selected, it does actually exist in the world.

If I had exhibited, visitors would have had the opportunity to peep inside my little house boxes, so here is a little tantalising glimpse inside a couple:-

For the new year I am already planning some new pieces of work that carry on the theme of home, so there will be more of that to come later.

Amanda xxx

Showing Work

The main reason I started this blog was to put my work out into the world.

The initial urge with any work I produce starts with a compulsion to create; to bring an idea in my head out into the world; it's my own form of storytelling.

Following on from this is the desire for other people to see the work, appreciate it, connect with it, draw their own understanding from it.

This is the point at which my blog comes in. It's been a process of getting used to providing access to work that is very personal. But with this last piece of work that I did, I wanted to reach further and so I decided to enter it in the Aesthetica Art Prize.

'I Figure If I Had a Room, I'd Want It To Look Like That'

I really don't have any expectations. The motivation was purely a leap of faith.

Amanda xxx

Project - 'Home'

Home...it's a theme that has been constantly tugging at me, calling out for my full attention, creeping into my thoughts every day. I was obsessively looking through interior magazines trying to figure out why certain pictures of interiors caught my attention. The interest has always been there, but moving house myself, drawing up a list of the things I wanted from my new home, focusing on all the details, seemed to magnify it.

So this summer I gave myself over to it. It felt like the time was right to completely embrace this theme and so I set about compiling some research material for total immersion:-

The first book was The Making of Home by Judith Flanders which charts the evolution of the house into the homes that we know today. Next up was Playing at Home by Gill Perry which explores the different ways in which artists have engaged with this theme - I'm not alone in my obsessive fascination. Then I switched to a novel, Bleeding Heart Square by Andrew Taylor, a thriller set in London in1934. The central character, Lydia Langstone, is desperate for 'a room of one's own', inspired by Virginia Woolf's essay of that same name, which of course was next on my reading list. This is a book I had been intending to read for years so I turned the pages with great pleasure and satisfaction.

And so it was finally time to make a start on the artwork itself, which I had decided to create as a series of six cardboard boxes. I've always been enchanted by dolls houses and felt that using cardboard boxes links back to childhood memories of making rudimentary houses and dens, our first attempts at home. I also like to use materials that are readily available, discarded even, and transform them into something unique and tangible.

The first step, on the first box, was to open it completely flat and paint the interior surfaces. Once dry, this was then folded back together and the interior constructed.

This is where my collection of magazines came into their own, providing the furnishings for my little 'Home' box. I then sketched a figure to inhabit the space, put her in position, and sealed it all up with the only opening being a little window. This is a really important aspect of the piece - you long to see everything but are only allowed a little glimpse; like passing a house at night with a warm and welcoming lamp lighting up the scene - you can't help looking, but you can't see everything; And home is bound up in our memories - as we look back through time these memories are only ever experienced as glimpses.

Amanda xxx

Early Autumn in the Tiny Urban Garden

Autumn is a magical season. Even though we're heading towards the end of the year, it can feel like a beginning of sorts. I think it's that back-to-school feeling; the lazy days of summer are now a memory and there is a freshness in the air that awakens the senses.

After a cold start this morning, the day turned bright and warm and I took the opportunity to give my lawn what may be the last cut of the year. My garden is still full of interest and colour and the ivy which has been green for months is now turning beautiful shades of copper and burnished orange while my Viburnum is blossoming with an array of these delicate little treasures:-

And the Sedum is a vibrant shock of  bubblegum pink:-

I am full of ideas for artwork and feel an urgency to get things done before the winter months set in and the urge to hibernate descends. In my next post I will be talking about the work I completed over Summer and hopefully my next piece will be progressing well.

Amanda xxx

Thinking Of Home

Since I moved home, almost 4 years ago now, I have had an almost obsessive pre-occupation with the idea of 'Home'.

It's always been a subject of interest to me which can probably be traced back to my grandparents, avid house hunters who never actually moved for as long as I knew them. But they used to take me on some of their viewings, and there were always plenty of estate agent details for me to peruse, inspiring me to fill exercise books with my own house designs and adding the occupation 'Architect' to my list of possible future careers.

And so, back to the here and now where I find myself poring over images in interior magazines trying to decide which are the perfect rooms and what it is that I am drawn towards.

It's been at the forefront of my mind so much that it became apparent this was the direction that my next piece of work was going in. I touched on it briefly two summers ago in my 'Creativity With Collage' post when I did some work inspired by interiors.

I've undertaken research and done a new piece of work which I will be talking about in future posts, but for now I am going to enjoy the last hours of this bank holiday Monday as the summer draws to a close.

Amanda xxx

Maps Series 1 'Could This Be The Velveteen Rabbit?'

So here is my next completed embroidery and I have to say I really love this one. It speaks of the beauty, the magic, the power of books.

The book is bigger than me. I can step inside it and go on a journey, become a part of it, connect with the words another person has woven into a narrative which, in turn, becomes a part of my narrative.

Anyone who has grown up with books in their life will have experienced the overwhelming feeling of seeing a well loved title from childhood and being transported right back there; connecting with the younger self that resides within us all...it's almost like time travel.

This piece tells another little piece of my story, of the books that are my constant companions, able to inspire, impart knowledge, offer reassurance, or just provide a place to escape, as they accompany me along the map of my life.

Amanda xxx